"I was hitchhiking from my parents' place to the city and got a ride with a man.When I first got into his car, he looked like a gentle, innocuous guy who wouldn't bother me. He said he was 25 years old and had been out of school for a couple of years. We got to talking and he, seemed okay; but after about an hour he said he wanted to pull over to the side of the road and rest. I told him I was kind of in a hurry to get home. I had begun to get strange vibes from him, everything we talked about ended up in a discussion about sex. He told me all about his sexual experiences and wanted to talk about mine. I was wearing jeans and an old top. When I hitchhike I dress as asexually as possible. So there was no way I was indicating my availability by the way I was dressed. Then he said we were going to stop whether I liked it or not and he was going to make love to me. I said "I don't particularly want to make love with you." He pulled over to the side of the road and reached over, he put his elbow on the lock of the door and wouldn't let me out. He jumped on me. He ripped my clothes."

And then he raped her. He forced her into this act he called "making love" and made believe that what he was recreating in the cramped space of the car's front seat was a lover's pleasure. She went to the police but never pressed charges. Instead she has spent the last year wrestling with her fears and her anger. She finally put it all out into a tape recorder, partly as therapy and partly so that others would know and understand just what the experience of being raped is like.

He was no weirdo. He didn't prowl around neighborhoods and drool at passing women from behind bushes. He didn't have the kind of grizzled face and unfocussed gaze of the dirty old men you see in the subway car and buses staring at women's thighs.

If you asked him about himself he would tell you he was just an ordinary guy. He had a good job, loved his mum, took girls to the movies and to bars, slept with the ones who let him. Hell, he'd say, most are easy these days. They'd all pretend at first that they were virgins or something and waiting for Mr. Right but, in the end, if you put a little pressure on them, and maybe get a little threatening they almost always give in. Women want to be persuaded, roughed up a bit. You certainly don't have to take "no" as their final answer.

And if you asked him for his version or what went on in his car that night, this is what he might say: what do you expect a guy to think when he sees a chick all alone on the highway, hitchhiking? And when she turns out to be real friendly and dressed up like a hippie? I mean, come on, you'd have to be pretty dense not to figure out that she's on the make. So you can imagine how I felt when she suddenly got on her high horse and said "no, no!"

No one, neither psychologists nor the police, rape counselors nor judges, seems to know just what pushes an "ordinary guy" over the line between courtship and rape.There is research available and theories have been formulated which attempt a description of who the rapist is, what his personal history is likely to be, what might go on in his mind during the attack and how he justifies himself.